What a curious thing...to be surfing the web and to find that a not so distant past lover has married. We had ended our time-truth is it was our fifth or sixth time together, dotted randomly over the past fourteen years-on a very bad footing. No reason, really, to imagine that there might be a sixth or seventh time...and yet......imagine I have.
Having been seen off with rather stern words, I did not for a moment think to weasel my way back into her affections. Rather I pledged to myself that I would work on those parts of me that could so completely poison a relationship that was, to me, to her and to all who witnessed it, informed by love.
And work I have.
I haven't wasted much time over the past year plus trying to build anything that might replace the relationship that was done in, knowing that the insecurities that bedevilled me then were still about. Yet as I have worked in my life on those areas that so completely wrecked that relationship, I have occasionally indulged in thoughts of a next chance.
Humph.
Well, it is not as though what I intended in taking on this task was contingent on reconciliation as a reward...
But there is this curious thing, this knowing that what should have been, and that until now might still have been, won't be. There is this hurt.
I will pray that marriage brings you all that the best of loves can foster in it, Adriana. Blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment